Distance does make the heart grow fonder, but it can also cause multiple issues between the partners in many situations. Long-distance relationship problems make the couples go through several ups and downs. If they can make it work even when they are apart, it simply shows a whole lot of emotional maturity, love, and respect towards each other. However, couples often may not be able to maintain their relationship even though they communicate regularly. It could be due to various problems, including the inability to fulfill expectations, lack of intimacy, or losing trust. So here we are to help you understand more about how long-distance relationships are, what could be the damaging reasons, and how to deal with them.
Do Long-Distance Relationships Work?
Yes, a long distance relationship does work, provided the partners make a conscious effort to make it work.
Ask yourself why you want to be in this relationship. The reason needs to be good and strong enough for you to make an effort.
The partners need to understand and accept the reasons for having to stay apart. Your spouse could be away from you for a genuine reason — to pursue higher education, to better their career, or on duty.
Try to get busy when your partner is away instead of staying home alone. You could pursue your education, a career, or a hobby.
Deal with the loneliness whenever you miss your partner by being active socially, meeting up with friends, going for family get-togethers, and keeping yourself busy in other ways.
Don’t let your relationship die a slow death with boring routines. Keep it alive by being romantic and funny. Whatever you do, stay connected and in love.
Above all, have a positive outlook.
Positive Sides Of Long Distance Relationships
You need to work hard to make a long-distance relationship work. And the hard work and effort you put in can reap great benefits in the long run. Here’s how distance can enhance your relationship: But not all long-distance relationships can work, because of the common problems that couples fail to address.
Problems In A Long Distance Relationship
With distance comes a host of problems that can put your relationship to the test. Keeping the relationship alive when you have these problems can be challenging. A long-distance relationship can be tormenting. You can’t merely sweep your feelings under the carpet and ignore them. Sleeping alone in your bed might only result in sleepless nights and make you wonder if all the pain is worth it. You might hate your long-distance relationship, at times. But you still love and trust each other, and that’s the silver lining! It means LDRs have a bright side too. Though there are many advantages to a long-distance relationship, surviving in such a relationship could be a struggle for some. But if you love your partner and want to make the relationship work, you should know how to steer through the tough situations thrown at you when you have to live away from your partner.
How To Survive A Long Distance Relationship?
Being pragmatic and strong can help you face the challenges and survive the distance.
1. Don’t make quick judgments
When you are away from each other, communication is not always complete and can leave room for misunderstandings. You might get impatient when you are not in contact with them and make assumptions that aren’t facts. The key is to be patient and avoid reacting and judging your partner’s action or inaction. Otherwise, it won’t be long before your relationship suffers due to misplaced assumptions and judgments.
2. Plan accordingly
Cheri Timko, a licensed professional counselor and couples relationship coach of Timko Counseling Services, says, “Be clear on where the boundaries of the relationship need to be so that each person can continue to feel safe. Also, talk about what the expectations that each of you have for the separation. “Be fair to one another. If something changes, tell your partner as soon as you realize it. Don’t leave your partner to assume that everything is ok when it isn’t.” “Establish some good habits. Identify times and places when you will connect regularly. Once you put those in place, follow them consistently so that the relationship develops some security. These might include regular check-ins, phone or video conversations, video dates, or visits to see one another.”
3. Don’t allow jealousy to seep in
Insecurity is one of the factors that can end a long-distance relationship. You might get jealous that your partner is spending more time with others than with you, even if for justifiable reasons. Try to understand their perspective and be mindful of your insecurities. Otherwise, the feelings of discomfort and jealousy could create problems for your relationship. Trusting, instead of doubting your partner when you are in a vulnerable situation, could help your relationship succeed.
4. Strive to make the relationship work
Don’t take your long-distance relationship for granted. Make an effort to keep things transparent, strengthen your bond, and let your significant other know that you are there for them at all times. You don’t have to chat or be on call a lot. But make it a point to tell them how much you love and appreciate them whenever you get a chance. This can also help you push aside petty disagreements and fights between you and your partner. Rebecca Johnston, sex and relationship therapist and coach at Rostered Relationships, suggests setting up communication skills. “LDRs can be really challenging, particularly when schedules don’t align, and time zones are involved because it can make it difficult to find time to have real connection in conversation on a consistent basis. “Pay attention to when conversations go really well, and when they don’t. When you reflect on different aspects that were in play – such as level of energy, food intake, and travel obligations. – try to find recurring patterns and then make changes where necessary to avoid foreseeable unsavory interactions.”
5. When in doubt, see your partner
You will go through various emotions as you may feel sad, angry, anxious, and lonely. Instead of dwelling over these feelings, take time to visit your partner. It might be a costly plan, but it will be worth it when you and your beloved are right in front of each other after a long time. Whatever anger or grief you were experiencing will disappear the moment you are together hopefully!
6. Look at the bigger picture
Usually, the arguments between a couple in a long-distance relationship are about petty things. And when not addressed, these minor issues could cause a rift in the relationship. Every time you’re annoyed by a petty issue about the relationship, stop and look at the bigger picture. Ask yourself, “is it worth spending so much time and effort on this issue? Is it worth the fight?” How would I feel if my partner was bringing up the same issues about me? Answer these questions, and you’ll know how to make your relationship survive. If the above tips aren’t helping, don’t worry. The next best option could be to take a break from your relationship, review what you really want from a relationship and consider your own values and goals.
Does Taking A Break Help In A Long Distance Relationship Help?
“Time! The corrector when our judgments err.” – Lord Byron Taking a break when you are unable to resolve your problems could help by giving you time to think about and evaluate your past, present, and future with your partner. Taking a break doesn’t have to mean breaking up with your partner.It means staying away from one another for longer than usual, and not exchanging communication until both the partners are ready. A break from the relationship can help you declutter your mind and come up with a clear answer. That said, a break may not be the best idea when you are too angry or depressed, as these emotions can be unhelpful in your decision making, don’t be impulsive, consider the pros and cons. If you are thinking about taking a break from your long-distance relationship, talk to your partner first. If your partner thinks that the issue can be resolved by talking, then give it a chance. If they agree with your decision, then take a break on mutual terms. Sometimes, the challenges of an LDR could make you want to end the relationship. If that is the casegive enough thought to the idea before you decide. Don’t make decisions based on emotional responses, look at the whole picture.
How To End A Long Distance Relationship?
It is not so easy to break up with someone. But it may be the right thing to do when there is no happiness, future, or hope left in the relationship. Sending them a text saying ‘it’s over’ or calling them to say it is easy. But not the right way to end a relationship. If you’ve made up your mind about ending the bond, here are a few points that you may try to make the task easy.
Try to end the relationship in person. If you are a few hours from your partner, then try visiting them. Otherwise, a video call or phone conversation would do. An email, text, or message is not the ideal way to break up. Consider how you would feel if they did this to you.
Find the right time to end. Don’t rush it. Choose the right time when both of you are free and not preoccupied with other things.
Let them know you want to talk about something important. A heads up is necessary when your partner is not aware of your decision. Be careful when using your words. Don’t blame your partner or use any harsh words when you are ending your relationship.
Try to be patient. If they are not expecting the news from you, they could be angry or upset and not accept your decision immediately. So, you need to be calm and patient to let them process the news and accept it in their own time. Breaking up can indeed be heartbreaking.
Give your reasons and the option to agree with the break up, this will be easier on their ego and allow them to tell friends and family that it was a mutual decision, based on the circumstances, rather than making them feel like the victim, or ‘abandoned’ one in the relationship.
Your relationship is not stable. You feel alone and the burden of carrying the relationship is solely on you. You are losing trust in your partner You don’t see a future with your partner. You have stopped growing in your relationship
